On my birthday, I take a moment and look back and I see a girl who used to be quite aspirational and ambitious, who tried to plan everything in advance , all her anticipated successes and joys, based on her limited knowledge about happiness and success. She went about achieving her planned success with great energy, worked hard and displayed exemplary will power. She made choices which she thought led her towards her planned goal of happiness in personal and professional life. She was indeed quite picky about her choices and she felt totally in charge of her life.
Fifty years hence, I seem to have reached some
unknown destination.
It seems no planning worked. So many surprises in life, never ever imagined situations swipe away the current state like a storm takes away with it everything that is there on the sea shore. Alas, I can’t go back in time and change my choices.
Fear cripples us. The fear of where will my livelihood come from? Will I have food, home, health, money in the near future. This fear turns us into what we don’t really want to be. A painter stops painting and becomes an accountant, A swimmer stops swimming and starts selling insurance policies. Both of them end up as mediocre, living a below average life. That is the power of fear. Fear makes us to plan too hard, but the world in which we are born is different from the world in which we put to use all that we have learnt.
The wise people always advise that living in the present and enjoying every moment leads to happiness. How
much do we anyway know about life and living and how much control do we always have on
the events of life?
But I know for sure that if I just follow my heart and do what I love doing and live as if there is nothing to lose , I will be free from fear. What about the fear of not having wealth and objects of pleasure? Well there is a trade off between living passionately, taking risks versus living in fear and looking for safety. The take -away could be more gratifying in the first option though.
The thought of death is beautiful if looked upon with optimism. It makes meaningless all the material objects, as they will not be needed when my soul leaves my body. While I think this , I get a wow feeling. So it means that I have nothing to loose really !
Welcome to the world of passion and dreams.
Now,
I am on a second voyage , saying goodbye to fear, following my heart and not planning too hard. I will go beyond the current, into the
unknown, explore life further and enjoy the journey and contribute something positive to the world around me.
I can’t change the past, at the same time I should not call the whole lived life a waste .Probably life is a journey which is spent on seeking bliss and the act of seeking takes us through various routes, highs and lows and we constantly hope to reach an end. This time I will not look for an end and instead live each moment and seek bliss and learning from every every challenge without worrying about the end because I know that the end is death.
Someday, when I am busy pushing my boundaries away from me, energetically and with enthusiasm, I will drop dead. Without a prior notice or the slightest hint, the death will take me away to my final destination.
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